


How We Turned Into We're

by candyxcane



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, I suck at summary, bucky barnes is falling out of love or so he thought, cheating!bucky, reader is letting him go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 12:45:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7508791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyxcane/pseuds/candyxcane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END" - There is an end to everything, to good things as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How We Turned Into We're

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt requested by anon on tumblr.
> 
> #21 “You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.”

> _To fall out of love is to admit that something no longer serves you, or them, or the both of you together._

Y/N could feel it, she could feel how he’s starting to slip out of her fingertips. She could feel his love evaporated into the thin air, she saw the distance between them. This time is different, he didn’t distance himself because of his crazy thoughts, but there’s ~~something~~ _someone_ else. His crazy thought is what she can handle, but him slipping away from her is something she never prepared for.

Her heart ached with pain when she slept beside him at night, their limbs tangled together yet his skin touched her like it was an acid pouring down on her. It hurt to be that close to him. She heard him in his sleep, mumbling someone else’s name and sleep talking about something she never know he loved or something he never told her. She sees all the sign she thought she’ll never see again, _Bucky was in love and it’s not with her._

The kiss doesn’t taste sweet as before, it was short and bitter. She grimaced as he kissed her goodbye and grinned as he left. She felt pathetic for still smiling and pretending that this relationship is okay when it’s not. She still loves him so much, even when she could feel him slowly become a stranger to her. Funny isn’t it? People always thought they were the ‘it’ couple, the couple that will never break up, or whatever they called it, but now he’s falling out of love with her, a complete opposite from what he feel so many years ago.

> _It will start slowly, the way these things often do. It won’t feel slow; in fact, it will seem sudden — you’ll wake up and look over at the space next to you and think that something must have snapped in the night. But it didn’t happen there. It couldn’t have. You’ve long since abandoned the possibility that anything could happen in your sleep._

It really didn’t happen in one day, she thinks she knows how or why this happened. She didn’t think, she knew how and why this happened. _They leap, and they scramble, and they try, and they fail._

Six months ago is the time where it happened, the weather outside their apartment is as gloomy as the couple in the apartment. The stack of paper on the table getting thrown, the nasty words being said, and there’s nothing they could do other than screaming at each other. She stood in the living room looking out of the window in front of her, watching him leave the building without looking back. That night she pretends she was asleep when she heard him coming home and sighed a heavy sigh. In the morning he smiled, hugged, and kissed her like it was nothing, like the previous night was nothing, she thought it was going to be okay, but oh how wrong she was.

And now here she is sitting in her living room with a mug of tea gripped tightly in her hand. She’s waiting for him to come home like always. But today is different, she didn’t have a smile on her face or the warmest of her heart. The door opened, she lifted her head up to see him smiling as he saw her.

“Hey, babe.” Bucky grinned, plopping down on a couch next to her. He snuggled closer to her like he always does. If this was any other time, Y/N would put the mug down and snuggled closer to him too. But today is not any other day. Today is the day that she’s finally going to let him go.

“ _James_.” Y/N called, her voice cracked. Bucky perked up in confusion as he heard her calling his first name.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Bucky asked, his tone is filled with concern.

_Why do you act like you still care, Bucky?_

“This isn’t how our story going to end, but this is it, Bucky.” She said, placing her mug on the coffee table. She turned her attention towards him.

“What? What do you mean?” Bucky chuckled as if he didn’t understand what she was talking about.

“Don’t act like you don’t know. I know what you’ve been doing.” Y/N said, she didn’t want to see his expression. Those puppy eyes could make her regret her action right here and there. **“You know, it hurt when I realized that you’re not in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.”**

Bucky expression says it all, he’s been caught red handed. He opened his mouth and closed them again, he couldn’t form a word in his mouth. The silence fell over them for another several seconds.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall in love with her.” Bucky admitted, avoiding her eyes.

In this moment he knows he fucked up. Y/N loved her and gave him all she had and he throws it all away, but how can you stop love from happening? But in this moment he also knows that he still love her, he never stopped when he thought he did and his stupid action has lead her to say the next sentence he hoped she said so many months ago.

“We really need to see other people, huh?” She chuckled at her own joke. Bucky didn’t laugh at it. _God, it sounds better in her head._

Oh, how much he wished she said those words a few months ago, but not today. He’s not ready, but he didn’t say anything.

“I just want to let you know, I really love you, James. It was a privileged to be in relationship with you.” Y/N said with a smile on her face. A smile that once made him swoon. Y/N gave him a side hug and a peck on the cheek before getting up off the couch. “You can keep the place and everything, Tony has placed me overseas anyway. I guess I’ll see you later?” She shrugged as it was nothing and left, closing the door behind her with all the strength she had left.

And with that she left Bucky alone with a steaming mug on the coffee table, a pictures frame of their many adventurous dates, and a pillow that just smells like her. The house is still full of the memories and yet the house feels empty just like his heart, he felt empty. The closet is almost empty, her toiletries are gone, everything that was hers is gone just like her, except him because _he’s not hers anymore._

> _Falling out of love is a curious kind of agony. You might not have wanted to, and yet you still did._

Bucky laid on the couch that night, he couldn’t bare to sleep in the bed, he shared with his ex-lover. He thinks really hard that night, _what goes wrong? What lead him to fall in love with someone else? What the other girl has Y/N didn’t? Why?_

But there’s the thing, he only realized that now he didn’t love the other girl or he even falling out of love with Y/N in the beginning. He never do anything other than talk and being normal with the other girl, something that he and Y/N haven’t got a chance to do for a while because they were too busy fighting.

_The weather was cold and the skies were dark and cloudy in New York, after the screaming match ended Bucky left the apartment to the nearest bar. In that bar, he met the other girl, she was pretty, she was nice. Bucky talked about his problems all night to her and she listened, Bucky felt relieved that someone looked at him as a human. This is where he made a mistake, he’s mistaken this as love. He’s mistaken the ‘normalness’ he shared with the other girl as a sign of love. He’s mistaken her company as love. He’s been in love with Y/N for so long, he didn’t know what it feels like not to be in love or to be falling in love all over again.  
_

**And that’s how the “we” turned into “we’re”.**


End file.
